I love my sisters

I'm so thankful for my sisters and I love them very much.


Laura had fun making Porters hair look crazy today. He is lucky to have such a fun aunt.

Lots of changes...

Today was Clayton's last day at the Head Start Preschool. Clayton has really enjoyed this year of learning and socializing. He had to end the year a little bit early since we are moving. We moved out of the duplex today-yeah! It was such a small place and I was happy to go. We will stay with my parents for several weeks and then move to Show Low for the summer.
Clayton with his two preschool teachers^


Every family was asked to decorate a tile to go around the door, at the preschool. I am not the best artist, but I still liked how the tile turned out. It represents what things are important ot our family: church, the outdoors, animals, trips, reading, food, FHE, etc.

Our kids have been through so many changes lately: loosing Cooper, moving, Clayton leaving preschool, changing wards, etc. I hope they do well and feel the love and support from us and their extended family. Hopefully we can get through this hard time with a greater love for one another and our Savior.

moving on...

Today I had a doctor appointment at UMC. It was strange to be back there, and even stranger to check how I was healing after having a baby, even though our baby is gone. Dr. Coppola cried and I comforted her-I told her that God must really need Cooper. I stopped by the NICU to see my favorite nurse Chris, she requested to care for Cooper every shift she had. She was there when Cooper left this world. We talked and we cried. She told me that she learns something from every family that has a baby in NICU. From us she learned that we loved Cooper so much and we fought for his life, but we loved him enough to let him go. That really meant a lot to me. It was hard to be back at the NICU, it hurt to see Cooper's name off the board. It is really reality, he's gone from this life forever.
Cooper was born here and lived his whole earthly life here^



At home we have been packing up to move. It is hard to pack up when you are filled with grief. Sometimes I wish that time would fast forward and that we were out already. I feel bad because I can't help much, since I am healing from a c-section. Poor Laun has been stuck with doing almost everything by himself.

Porter is practicing writing his name. Laun wrote Porter and then all of the letters underneath it Port wrote:

I love how Clayton writes his name-he practiced writing his name a lot in preschool:

Our little Slugger

Porter took a little intro to sports class. He has had fun. I love watching little kids play sports and run-too cute!

guess who is finally potty trained…

a breath of fresh air

Sometimes you just need to get out and breath some fresh air. I have a feeling that we are going to need a lot of that right now.

We picked out Cooper's headstone today. It takes awhile for it to come in-I am excited to see it.
We have been staying at the Larsen's home for a week now. We came up the day of the funeral/burial and are just now leaving. It was nice to spend time with family and they took great care of us. Thanks to Jennette I have had so much help while I have been recovering. We left for Phoenix and are staying at my parents home tonight.

Cooper Hugh Hall's Funeral...

Cooper was born on March 21, 2007 and passed away on April 5, 2007. Although he only lived for two weeks, he has forever touched our lives. We are blessed with the knowledge of the gospel and we know that we our an eternal family. He is already greatly missed and we look forward to seeing him again someday. There was many friends and family that attended his viewing and funeral, held at the Glendale Stake Center. We thank them all for their love and support.


Our 3 boys:




Our family:





Funeral Service

Conducting: Bishop Bob Palmer
Opening Song: "My Heavenly Father Loves Me"
Prayer: Brandon Hall
Talk: Andrew Turley
Song: "A Child's Prayer" by Laura and Rachel Turley
Talk: Hugh Ryan Hall
Song by Cooper's Cousins and Brothers: "I am a Child of God"
Talk: Laun Hall
Closing Remarks: Rob Turley
Song: There is a Green Hill Far Away"
Prayer: Janae Beeson

Pall Bearers: Jared Hall and Jonathan Frost
Honorary Pall Bearers: Clayton and Porter Hall



After the viewing, funeral, and lunch-in, we headed to Show Low for the graveside

Graveside Service

Conducting: Robert Turley
Opening Prayer: Ted Turley
Remarks: John and Jennette Larsen
Dedicatory Prayer: Richard Turley


Cooper will be buried near his Grandpa Mike (Laun's dad who was born on the same day as Cooper).


Turley family:

Turley siblings:

Hall family:

The flowers were perfect, just like our sweet Cooper.
The Larsen's kindly hosted everyone at their house for dinner tonight. I am worn out physically and emotionally. I know the only way I made it through this day was through God's love and those who surrounded us. Everything turned out so nicely today and I am very pleased. We miss you Cooper, hope you felt our love today and always.

We love these boys...

The boys move around a lot when they sleep. We were staying at my parents home tonight, so they were sharing one big bed. I found them asleep like this tonight:

I am so glad that these boys have each other. They look like sleeping angels.

sweet Cooper

My mom & I picked out flowers for Cooper’s casket this morning. it was hard. I came home & cried. The boys got haircuts today from Keri Tieman- they sure look handsome.

I went to the mortuary with Lucy, mom, Martha & Laura to dress Cooper’s body. He looked so different. I saw the scar on his back from his surgery, so sad. My mom made him this sweet little white suit to be buried in. He still had marks on his cheeks from where the tubes had been taped to his face. His hair looked lighter & was a brownish-reddish tint. I miss my boy. I know his spirit is in heaven,but it will be hard for me not to see his body again until I go to heaven. I sure love my little boy. I hope all goes well tomorrow.

Phoenix

We arrived in Phoenix yesterday. Our boys are still sick. Laun stayed home with them while I went to church with my parents. It was hard to go to church without my family & after loosing Cooper. They blessed a baby today. It was hard to watch…Cooper’s blessing was so different with just Laun & I at the hospital & knowing he was going to die. I did feel a lot of support from the ward though.

Porter, Collin, Clayton & Avery^

 

I went to Ginny’s tonight & my cousin Liz did my hair. She added blonde to the brown & did my eyebrows. I love her lots. We have also been overwhelmed by all the donations coming in from friends & family. This will cover the funeral costs & more. We are blessed.

the wee morning brought what I was afraid of…

They have Cooper paralyzed for the last several days to help him relax & feel better. I’m scared & almost certain he will die. Cooper’s lungs looked bad & are expanded all the way down to his torso, breaks my heart. The doctor said that his lungs would probably start popping soon. Oh my poor baby. I don’t want him to suffer anymore, but I really wanted to take him home some day, he’s my baby. Laun & I laid down in a NICU bed & slept for a bit. Then the doctor woke us up & told us Cooper was going to die. They said that every organ would start shutting down one by one, so the tubes should be pulled out, so he can pass on. Laun & I prayed about what to do. I felt the feeling to let him go, let him go. Laun & I went back into the NICU. Laun gave Cooper a name & a blessing. Then we held Cooper for awhile & his torso started turning a whitish color all over. We knew it was time for Cooper to go back to heaven. His body was starting to shut down. The doctor took out all tubes, except for an iv in his leg, so that Cooper was medicated & would feel no pain as he passed on. Laun & I took turns holding him. His heart kept on slowly beating on his own for around 30 minutes. He passed on around 3 am in the morning.

Laun & I will always treasure the 2 weeks we had with our baby boy. What a precious spirit he was. We are blessed that we got to be together once as a family in the NICU & for eternity. During his life Laun & I each got to hold him.I saw Cooper open his eyes & recorded it. We had help from friends & family. I really miss Cooper already. I had a hard time setting him down in his bed, knowing that his spirit had left his body. He was gone. I knew it was the last time in this life that I would lay him down. I knew I would never be able to go bck into that NICU & see my baby or hold his hand or sing him primary songs. Oh how we longed to bring him home with us, to raise him with our boys, to love & spoil him. I was looking forward to dressing him & nursing him. I pumped all those times in hopes of that someday. I love him. I can’t believe Iam still breathing & living. I felt as though I would die or that part of me was missing. Cooper will always be our baby boy & part of our family. We are so excited to see him again someday & live as an eternal family.

Strangely enough, I still found some peace in that moment. There is still good in tragedy. Cooper is perfect & will go to the celestial kingdom. He endured this life & came here for what he needed. I know he is back in the arms of Heavenly Father. It was strange leaving UMC so early in the morning, after being there all night. We left empty handed, again. I feel closer to God & rely on him more than ever. I am thankful for the gospel & my family. I am physically & emotionally worn out. We miss you Cooper Hugh Hall.

together as a family, for the first time

Today the boys got to come in & see Cooper. They were happy to see their baby brother.

 

They gave him kisses:

 

Laun held him for the first time today. He says he feels such hope when he holds Cooper.

 

We took a couple family pictures.

 

Laun got to hold Cooper for 30 minutes. Then a nurse watched our boys while Laun & I spent time with Cooper. I got to hold Cooper again, what a precious baby.

 

He doesn't look so good. His eyes are puffy & dark. He looks like he feels sick. I spent time with him this afternoon. My mom & sister Rachel came to see him & help with the boys.

 

Tonight I finally told Cooper that Laun & I needed him, but that if he really needed to go back to heaven that it was ok. I told him that he needs to do what is best for him. I finally gave Cooper to Heavenly Father. I told Heavenly Father that we need Cooper so much, but that if he needed Cooper back then I would do whatever Heavenly Father wanted for Cooper.  Sometimes I worry that Cooper will just hang on until we are ready to let him go.

I felt sick as I left the NICU. I felt that Cooper would probably die. Could I really live without my baby? I called Cooper’s nurse tonight around 10ish. Her name is Chris & she is a good nurse who loves Cooper. She has even bought him two of the stuffed animals that stay in his bed. I called to see if I should stay the night at the NICU room. She told me to stay home so I could rest & that she would call me if she needed us. Twenty minutes later I got a call from Chris, telling me that Laun & I needed to get to the hospital. This is the call I have been hoping would never come. Thankfully, my mom was there with our boys, so Laun & I headed out. When we got to the hospital Cooper wasn’t looking good. His skin was discolored. Doctor Heather told us that he didn't look good & that she was worried. I felt sick. I felt as though I would pass out. Laun held Cooper’s hand & spent time with him. I laid down for a bit.