Three years ago today around 3 am in the morning , Laun and I were here:

We were saying goodbye to Cooper & holding him as he took his last breath in this earthly life.


This picture was taken the day before Cooper passed & it was the only time that we were together as a family & the first time that Laun got to hold Cooper.

Time is healing. The pain will never go away but, it gets less sharp over time.
When Laun had his back surgery recently at UMC, I couldn't help but think of how ironic it was that we were in the same place 3 years earlier (Cooper would have been 4 days old, 3 years earlier). So while Laun was sleeping in his hospital bed, I went up to the 8th floor to visit the NICU. I was so happy & emotional to see my favorite nurse that took care of my Coop. She remembered me & my Cooper Trooper (that is what she calls him) & it was an emotional reunion for us. We hugged each other & cried. Not very many people met Cooper while he was alive & so I have a special bond with the few that shared his short 2 weeks with me. Even though we miss him & sometimes I just want to time travel to 3 years ago to hold him again, I am grateful that we are where we are now. We miss you & love you Cooper!



This morning Marlee got tubes put in both her ears since she has been having constant ear infections. What a day for this to happen but, everything went great & I am glad that Marlee can start feeling better. She woke up pretty angry & sad but, luckily the boys both had tubes when they were little so I was prepared for that reaction. Here is Marlee before her 4 minute surgery (it has got to be the fastest operation on earth):

I love this girl^